Red vs Blue: Puppy Dog

     It had been almost a year since the events at the Freelancer base. Life had returned to 'normal' for the rag-tag group of soldiers still stationed at Valhalla. Michael J. Caboose was still stupid, Tucker still inserted sexual innuendos into everything, Church was still dead and the Reds were still an unorganized mass of laziness and retardation. The only different thing in the valley was the addition of former Freelancer agent Washington. It should be noted that he was also the only person between the two bases with a solid, fully functioning brain in his head and due to this was also in charge of keeping everyone at Blue Base, and occasionally Red Base, from killing themselves accidentally.
     It was a normal day in Valhalla when Simmons came over the radio suddenly, asking for Wash to come over to Red Base as quick as he could, despite Sarge's yells in the background protesting the help of a Blue. When Washington inquired as to why he was needed, Simmons simply cut the call. Caught between worrying that something serious was up and getting ready to yell at them if it turned out the microwave was broken again, Wash grumbled under his breath as he made his way over.
     He came up over the hill outside of Red Base and stopped. Last three times he'd gone any farther than that, Sarge had tried to shoot him for 'trespassing'.
     "You called me over here!" He'd yelled up at him. "How is that trespassing?"
     "Oh…sight," Sarge had said, quickly pointing his shotgun elsewhere.

     Now what do they want? He wondered as he called out for Simmons. A maroon head popped out of the door in the base.
     "Oh! You're here!" Simmons exclaimed. "Great, just hang on a second!" He disappeared back inside the base, leaving Wash even more confused.
     When Simmons came walking back out of the base a few minutes later, he had a wriggling bundle in his hands. Wash took a couple steps back.
     "Tell me that's not what I think it is," he said.
     "Depends on what you think it is," Simmons said cautiously. "Anyway, here."
     "What? Hell no!" Wash exclaimed, pushing the peeping bundle away. "I'm not taking that."
     "Please?" Simmons asked, extending the object. "Come on man, it just showed up this morning and we don't know what to do with it. You can like give it to Caboose or something."
     "Caboose…right," Wash droned. "I'm not taking it, what do you expect us to do with it?"
     "I don't know! You're the smart one, you figure something out!" Simmons exclaimed, tossing the bundle at him and taking off for the inside of the base, leaving nothing but a dust cloud behind him.
     "Simmons!" Washington yelled, jumping forward to catch the now screaming mess of blankets before it slammed into the rocks. He let out a high pitched gasp as it fell through the air to the ground. As soon as it touched it hands, he cradled it to his chest so he didn't drop it and let out a long sigh of relief.
     "I'm gonna kill him," he muttered, turning and making his way back to Blue base.

                                                                                ^^^^

     "Caboose!" Washington called, walking onto the outer deck/viewing area of the base. "Caboose, are you here?"
     "Here I am!" Caboose yelled, running up the ramp. "What is it?"
     "Uh…" Wash looked down at the bundle in his arms and extended it towards Caboose. "Here. I uh, got you a…present?"
     "You did!? That was so nice of you!" Caboose yelled happily, taking it from him and tossing the blankets aside. "Washington you got me a puppy!?"
     "Yeah, I- A puppy!?" He exclaimed, looking down at the brown, furry animal in Caboose's hands.
     "Dude, what did you think it was?" Tucker asked, walking outside to discover what all of the screaming was about.
     "…I may have thought it was a child," Washington said lowly. It was obvious to Tucker that the former Freelancer was probably burning a shade of crimson underneath his helmet.
     "I thought you were the smart one around here?" Tucker questioned.
     "Shut up," Wash snapped.
     "I think I will name my puppy Church!" Caboose exclaimed interrupting the two of them and holding the little dog up in the air. "Doesn't he look like Church?"
     "If you say so, Caboose," Tucker said.
     "By the way, Tucker," Washington said, turning to the teal colored soldier. "whatever happened to your kid?"
     "Fuck if I know." Tucker replied, shrugging.